June 1st, 2008
i'm going insane. i know i am suffering from cabin fever. this sucks ass.
can someone give me a job? i'm needy.
why do i have such bad luck at this shit?
September 21st, 2007
|01:22 am - wow.|
wow, it's been years literally, i haven't updated this thing. i live in kalamazoo, i know even know what to say to the "livejournal community". seriously. ...
March 7th, 2006
|09:25 pm - for the ones that care(or think they do)|
i was bored.
i reminisce with the past entries, took a look back at other peoples life and then went back to mine.
i can't stand my past. whenever i look back, think upon how i lived my life and played out everything that happend to me i get upset. this really irritates me this is my fucking life, and this is what i have to show for it at this point. i'm so dissappointed in myself, i seriously can't believe i've done this to myself. no one knows who i am, i would like to believe in myself from this point on. i apoligized to myself that i've just sat back, took the easy way out and just sat back and let everything in the world pass me by my whole life.
this isn't who i want to be. i'm not happy, i've never been
few months ago i destroyed a video (lit it on fire, with two friends one of whom was in the video) of my friends and me doing silly stuff in 9th grade. eventhough the footage had great times for the others in it, it only exemplified that i was a lost little boy (douchebag) only out to seek the same drive and motives of my peers by trying desperatly to be (/copy) them in any way possible. i now know that thinking that way has to be the down right worst idea in history in trying to make something out of yourself. me and the friend had no other choice but to destroy the evidence of our false life we've lead while no one else could know we've done this to the video the others enjoyed making.
with that said i had to get rid of the meaningless entries that made me upset becuase they were based on nothing and put my false dreamt lifestyle on a pedestal.
i feel better.
Current Mood: shakey
Current Music: the mircophones
January 4th, 2006
does anyone rememeber grunge?
i bet it was better back then.
the world will now deteriorate. (deleted scene - one family diner at a time)
November 10th, 2005
i wish i was the kind of person that could denounce the internet and all its perks. but i can't
hi i'm ross, and now here's my myspace...
add me. its a place for friends so what is it without friends.
Current Music: takk...
October 14th, 2005
i hate you all.
livejournal is fucking stupid.
September 21st, 2005
EXTRA EXTRA READ ALL ABOUT IT!
if you would like to buy it, talk to me. i don't want it anymore.
Current Music: bright eyes
September 10th, 2005
its taken me 18 years and about 6 months to realize that everything you do has a purpose, not a big purpose(sorry thats my astronomy thoughts again). but you must make an effort to have experiences, the fools are the ones who never try. everyday you learn something new, to me its something never taught its how you perceive things and take in information which gives you the reason for the things that happen in your life and the way you function. only you can change you thats a factual statement that i have prove of, i also have living proof of failures not trying if you have reason to testify. i just can't stress how badly unimportant sitations must be turned into something more, at least feel as if you get something or have obsorbed something when you put your head down when you go to sleep the next night.
their are people that are perfect walking examples of quality human being becuase they pose the abilities of socially being able to fit in the world, not giving a shit, stating their mind, feeling open and free, not caring what they do, and expressing them selves to show their dominance. what i'm getting at is these are the people that are good examples go off by. without meaningful people you end up like...(not stating names). i tell you these are the people that never get cancer. shouldn't i be in high school still?
what a mindfuck, anyway if anyone has lost interest by now heres a picture of a man thinking of a man thinking.
Current Mood: awake
Current Music: aphex twin
September 2nd, 2005
|10:26 pm - Not Available|
i don't know why i ramble if i never get to a point. theirs reason for changes and change is good. i'm sorry to people i've made mad for the past few weeks. i haven't been happy about how i've felt and how i presented myself the past few weeks. mindless bullshit thats all in my head. not to say i feel better but i have to say it somehow. to sum it up easily i don't know what i want in my life and i can't think for myself so i worry and doubt everything i do. at least thats what i think. ok i just want to go to bed and start over tomorrow. end of story.
"the aching and breaking are the making of the soul"
Current Mood: tired
Current Music: the residents
August 30th, 2005
maybe somethings wrong
maybe somethings right,
but nobody is here to help guide me
so its goodbye and goodnight.
if i can sleep this one off too.
Current Mood: pessimistic
Current Music: no music